What No One Tells You About Fundamentalist Cults

Who Were You Before the Fundamentalist Cult?

I’ve thought a lot about the other people who were members of the fundamentalist cult I was involved in. I’ve even wondered what their perception was of me during my time as a “pastor’s wife”. The common phrase used to describe the embodiment of the church was, “we are a relationship based church”. I suppose this seemed like a logical way to present themselves since the church name was based on the Greek word koinonia, meaning “the Christian fellowship or body of believers intimate spiritual communion; and participative sharing in a common religious commitment and spiritual community” defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Over the years I’ve found it quite comical, yet ironically telling that no one actually knew me or bothered to ask about my previous life outside of this high control group. There was no talk of whether I had siblings, or where I grew up. There was no interest in knowing what I enjoyed, or if I had personal goals or dreams. There was no mention of an extended family, or what kind of relationship I had with my grandparents. All things that were very important to me and an integral part of my life. It seems, in hindsight, who you are before joining a cult or high control group is irrelevant.

1. Your Thinking in High Control Groups Will Be Reformed

Let’s start at the starting point, your beliefs! Our human condition propels the desire to want to carry out our personal beliefs and ideas according to the value system we’ve set for ourselves. It’s a way to make sense of our universe and how we fit into it. As Dr. Janja Lalich writes, “In the world of cults, belief is the glue that binds people to the group”. What begins as an attempt to carry out your own unique values and belief system and adhere to the principals you’ve established for your own life, soon becomes a slightly off-kilter adapted version based on the influences of the leader and their mandates. You may agree with a majority of the group beliefs, but without even realizing it, small changes or additions of their ideology begin to influence your thoughts and actions. This is the subtle but radical process that begins to reform your thinking.

We are constantly being influenced and socially conditioned by parents, schools, books, media, and mainstream institutions. There is one critical difference when it comes to high control groups or cults. In normal socialization the goal is to encourage critical thinking, to develop decision-making skills and to become an autonomous adult who has agency over your own life. By contrast, cults directly aim to influence and change your thinking through processes that result in becoming a “true believer” that will direct you to zealously and adamantly support the leader’s goals, and bring others into the group. Effectively, to become dependent on the group for purpose, perception and permission.

This was all too familiar in my case. In subtle ways, we were encouraged to distance ourselves from the “others” (even other Christians) who were denying the “true Christian faith”. Little by little through sermons, meetings, and group expectations, the ideology grew more intense. It simply wasn’t good enough to have a faith and live daily by those beliefs. We were expected to pray more, give more, attend more meetings, surround ourselves with group members only, stand against the enemy(the devil’s warfare) even if that meant standing against a loving family or friends who were concerned about us (apparently they were being used by the devil and we should expect such attacks for doing God’s work). All this to show our obedience to God. The slow burn of indoctrination in high control groups drives you further away from your original belief system until your thinking is reformed to adhere to the group. At this point, I feel like you slide down the slippery slope of deception faster and faster. Your ability to think critically is either dulled by peer pressure, sheer exhaustion, isolation or fear of reprisal from leaders. When you look at “the outside world” it’s easy to make a case for the things you observe, and those things now reinforce what the cult leaders are saying. A social-psychological conditioning occurs where you slowly have a new world view.

2. Fundamentalist Cults Put Doctrine Over People

The group perception and beliefs become the dominant priority in fundamentalist cults. Bit by bit, the deterioration of your original belief system means that your personal reality changes and fades. Your past is forgotten and your present, both socially and individually, begins to take on new views to fit the group doctrine. “The follower is remolded, the cult-shaped persona is born, and the person’s sense of integrity is lost.”, as Janja so clearly explains in her book, Take Back Your Life.

In high control groups, the core self is undermined over time. Without aligning with the group’s doctrine, people are made to feel personally defective in some way. At this point(often out of confusion) it’s easier to side with the abusive leader and embrace the doctrine, in an attempt at self preservation. Cults are pioneered by self-appointed leaders who profess to have unique insight, power and are called in some way to bring others to the enlightened understanding of their ideology. They will share this with you if you agree to give up your life and adhere to their doctrine.

Indoctrination processes can include:

• Heightened or altered states of dissociation (chanting, extended periods of prayer, speaking in tongues, intensive healing workshops or coerced confession groups)
• Controlled or censored information inside the group (books, music, webinars, guest speakers, teachers, even counsellors)
• Controlled or coerced use of your finances
• Isolation from former friends or family
• Working long hours, excessive meetings and deprivation of family time
• Leadership pressure to give up anything pertaining to your past life with expectations of loyalty, servanthood, and covenant commitment to the group
• Extensive, flooding of beliefs through absolute involvement, training, listening to group speakers, regularly attending various “group mandated” functions

As Dr. Margaret Singer states, after prolonged exposure members “appear to be a mentally and emotionally constricted version of his (or her) former self”. Under the guise of community, often people operate in isolation from their true selves.

3. Conversion in Fundamentalist Cults Results in Dependency, Deception and Dread

Even when I fundamentally had doubts, disagreements and silently refused to adhere to the demands of the leader, I still felt trapped with no way out. The shame and fear tactics targeting my core values were hurled at me constantly, reinforcing the absolute idea that if I left the group, my life would fall apart. The deception that without the belief in the leader’s ideology I surely would not be able to lead a life worthy of God, kept me dependent and definitely dreadful of my obligations to the group.

Often, especially in the initial involvement, the full scope of the high control group is not apparent. Opportunities (or more accurately marketing) of skills training, financial classes, bible studies, youth programs, business seminars, real estate ventures, music lessons, cooking classes, mom support groups, vacations, political study groups etc. are used as a “shell platform” or alternative to getting all that you need without having to get it from the world. In other words, what you need to grow and become a mature, fully realized person, they will provide you within the framework of their alternate reality and doctrine.

• Dependency: In the honeymoon phase of membership, you are made to feel important, like a valuable asset, having opportunities to use your perceived skills and being pushed up the ranks into the inner circle. This is all offered by way of walking out your commitment to the now imposed doctrine. This feeds on our human desire to feel purposeful, needed, and fill the void of some unattained desire to be recognized and validated. During this process, often you are pressured to divulge personal struggles, fears and hopes for your future. The leadership is able to prey on this information in order to place you in positions that seemingly fulfill what you desire. Once these opportunities are set in place, you are made to feel deeply indebted to the leadership and group, either through some kind of covenant commitment, overt control and accountability, or shame based reprisal if you change your mind. Total dedication is required.
• Deception: What seems like a normal desire to do good in the world and live out your values in a cult, becomes increasingly and blatantly a courtship of the leader’s end goal-to get you to buy into the doctrine to further his or her believed mandate or agenda. The deception here as I see it is twofold; pulling you further away from your own truth into the group doctrine, and convincing you that your resolute commitment will reward you with personal fulfillment, special knowledge, wealth, prestige, favour, spiritual growth, among many other things. If you dare to leave, all will be lost and you will be doomed to failure. In fundamentalist cults you are convinced that you will be “out from under God’s protection” if you leave.
• Dread: Escalating demands on your time, money, commitment, servanthood and increasing criticism and humiliation if you fall short, eventually exhausts and make you dread the demands. But even in the midst of dread, members feel isolated, increasingly dependent, with no recourse to bring balance back into their lives. The more alienated you become from your previous support network, the more burdened you are by even partial dependency on the group. The dread of what your life may look like if you leave the group becomes so overwhelming, staying feels like the only option. Many cults threaten and implement tactics of fear, enforcing among members that anyone who questions or leaves the group will be shunned and excommunicated entirely. (We were!)

My experience felt like a double edged sword. Not only did I want to leave, I hadn’t allowed myself to be fully indoctrinated by the leaders or the group. Unfortunately, my husband was a pastor on staff and leaving involved our entire life including our income, our circle of friends, and even our children’s education (they were required to be enrolled in the private school there). The things no one will tell you about fundamentalist cults is that once you are involved, there is a slow leak of your personhood, your true values, healthy autonomy, the ability to think critically and have healthy discussion through questioning, reasoning and respecting individuals perceptions and choices. Bringing awareness to the process of indoctrination can help to mitigate the harm that results and keep us from becoming deceived, dependent and dreading our lives.